here it is  

The rain poured down and the thunder echoed... The two men looked idly out at the furious water... each with an equally grim expression, "Nightbringer! the troops require orders!" the Sunspear called out to him, "Board the ships" he replied in a slightly raised tone. Together they returned to a mass of ships docked off shore of the Mehtani Keys. "All troops board the ships!" the man beside him bellowed slightly to the distaste of Nightbringer as he was right next to the man. Before them stood a great assembly of elite Sunspears, Kournans, and Vabbian soldiers alike all mounting ships and other forms of sea travel. Kournan engineers mounted great siege machines into loading bays and hulls while Istani seamen readied the ships. War he thought- such a waste of life.. but it must be done. Again from the depths of the Crystal Desert, Palawa Joko had amassed a great force of undead and other vile demonic creatures of the realm. Again a great battle would be fought for the safety of Elona's kindred provinces, but this time the great hero Turai Ossa would not be there to rally the forces; to break the morale of the undead; and strike the final blow. No, rather this time a young Sunspear Spearmarshal appointed by Kormir before her passing into god-hood. Nightbringer Minion.. He thought again of that fateful hour of reckoning in which Kormir former leader of the Order of the Sunspears had moved on to the realm of the gods- The Great Rift. So strange he thought.. one conflict after another. his thoughts were interupted by a tall well dressed vabbian. "Ahh Prince Ahmtur! you've arrived," "and not a moment to soon I see." he replied. "ALL SHIPS LOADED TO THE BRIM SPEARMARSHAL!" "Very Well.. It is time ADVANCE!" Nightbringer bellowed. the Prince and himself walked down to their ship as the armada of vessels set sail for the Crystal Desert. From above in the Rift the spirits of Turai, Kormir and all others watched in horror as the forces sailed to their own dooms.
CHAPTER II
 The gales howled as the armada trudged slowly past Kourna, rain poured down relentlessly. "Hold everything down!!! deckhands tighten those ropes!!" the Istani seaman bellowed.
The weather for meeting with the defensive force already at The Gate of Desolation was as bad as it could be. Nightbringer was standing in the crow's nest of the Istani vessel "Dwayna's Grace" when he caught something shadowy looming out of the dense fog surrounding the ship. He cast his eyes to the starboard bow, confirming his thoughts. sure enough in the open water ahead were three corsair ships with black sails fying. "Corsairs to the starboard bow!!! counting three maybe more! get ready to be boarded!" Nightbringer yelled from his perch. Instantly the soldiers on board armed and set up defences, but now the ships got closer.. they were corsair ships yes, but no corsairs rode them. Corpses of the crew lay scattered about the ship in an odd weaving of gore and destruction. "By the five gods... whats happened..?" a young Sunspear recruit whispered to his fellow who couldn't reply.
"Direct the fleet past these ships captain" Nightbringer called to an older graying Sunspear, "Aye...." he called back. the rest of the journey continued smoothly in about 5-6 days or so (not including the weather of course). By Nightfall of the seventh day they reached a landing position suitable for the army to disembark, by dawn the armies of Elona were in position along the northern tip of Kourna. Vabbian and Kournan bombards were erected as artillery. Paragons called out rites of leadership and barked orders. It began that night- Nightbringer was sitting in his tent when the air was shredded by a thunderous screeching. "What in Tyria was that?" he half whispered to himself. "Spearmarshal Nightbringer! Palawa is assaulting the Gate!! He commands Junundu!" the lieutenant ran further to raise the alarm to the other heads of command. Nightbringer walked out to find himself in a chaotic disarray of a camp as soldiers ran in every direction yelling or recieving orders. The Gate of Desolation was being crippled by Junundu siege wurms... and undead footmen moving in for the kill. "Form up!! Form up! Hold your ranks!" Kournan hardened veterans hissed, "Hold your Ground!" one of the paragons in one rank hollered. Then he saw it- the brief collapse of stone. The gates had fallen. Hundreds of undead poured through into the Elonian armies lines. Palawa rode on a Junundu steed clad in black armor.
Nightbringer walked to the front of the lines staff in hand. He turns arround slowly, "For Elona!!" He cries! then leads then charge into the enemy.
 Chapter III (Final)
Both Forces buckled under the force of eacthothers blows. the battle field was sandy bloodstained and a sight of horrific gore.
bodies of boths sides lined the length of war-zone. Palawa and Nightbringer stood locked in combat. "Curse you. filthy undead swine!" "Same to you "Spearmarshal"'. Nightbringer brought his staff down and cast a vampiric gaze at Palawa trying to siphon away his life-force. Palawa interupted it and caught Minion of guard with a lifebane-strike. "Ahhh!" Nightbringer yelped in pain as the attack leeched into his soul. "Foolish mortal you should join me.. and i may let you work in the slave yards with anyone else that survives this". Nightbringer looked sadly at the few remaining soldiers running for their lives or bieng butchered by Palawa's military. "Fall Back to the gap!!! Fall back" and with that Nightbringer let out a howl and attempted to cast a spell at Palawa, But Palawa was faster and caught the staff in his hands and snapped it in two. "Enough of this.." Palawa mocked. He unsheathed his Desolation sword and with one quick movement stabbed Nightbringer in the chest. Nightbringer doubled over in agony; he had failed.. all of Elona was in Palawa's hands now. He felt the warm blood spill across his chest and he tryed to clot the wound. "You and your puny mortal army are finished". with that he released the sword from Nightbringer's limp corpse and smiled dully to himself.. "All of Elona is mine" he cackled loudly. It seemed as if all of Elona heard him as Palawa Joko finished the last of Elona's freedom. Palawa turned to his cadre of bodyguards, "You! Take this body to the Necromancers, I have great plans for this one...." The three soldiers quickly and none to gently grabbed the corpse and began the trek to the ruined Gates of Desolation where Palawa's necromatic minions waited eagerly for fresh corpses. "Elona will feel my wrath from it's own heros." he cackled maliciously. He was interupted as his most trusted general, General Farrund, walked up to speak with him. "Lord Joko, the resistence is crumbling. We have gathered your agents, what do you wish us to do with them?" the general asked. "They have proved most loyal indeed... BRING THEM TO ME!" "As you command Lord Joko". And with that he was off to gather the "agents". Some Sunspears, taken in by Palawa Joko's offers of power and rank, abandoned their vows. These traitors to the Order were given command of Palawa’s armies or allowed to work alone against those in Elona who once scorned them. Each one, converted personally by Palawa, was given power over death and sent out to hunt down and destroy their fellow Sunspears—or bring them before their lord to be drawn into their unholy cause. "Most useful indeed" Palawa mused. "Ahh my loyal servants, come and stand with me." as Palawa commanded it the group of former Sunspears walked over and bowed deeply before their master. "Lord Joko! We have won! Elona is yours, we are at your service oh great one!" They echoed eachother in praise to the Undead Lord. "You have proven most valuable to my cause, and for that i shall give you my most powerful gift." "Yes my lord?" they all stood on the edge of excitement. "You will be my new generals, so I see fit that you shall be bestowed the gift of un-death..." "Ohh thank you Lord Joko! we shall lead the armies under your banner we swear!" They again echoed eachother. "Farrund!" "Yes Lord Joko!" he replied at once. "Grant them my honor. I want new armor and weapons forged for them at once... after all they are my champions." "At once Lord Joko!" Farrund led them off to the forges behind the battle lines. Palawa gazed solemnly at the battle field. Bodies lay strewn everywhere, weapons scattered about near previous or still kicking owners. Then his eye caught something glinting in the sand where Nightbringer had been slain. He bent down to grab it revealing it to be a clasp, and attached to it was a cape. A rich dark Navy Blue background with a sword and a dragon wrapping arround it. Palawa threw it to the side carelessly when he heard a shout. "How dare you!" A careless Sunspear ducked out from under a pile of corpses and began to charge Palawa who simply shot out a quick killing curse. "Overproud fools" he muttered out loud.
~~End~~  

--Last edited by Nightbringer Minion on 2008-02-21 04:11:21 --

It's a nice start. Perhaps a little more detail into the similarities and differences between Nightbringer and Shadowbringer in their formative years would help to flesh this out a little. What was it that lead Shadowbringer to be a servant of Abaddon? Why did Nightbringer know in his heart that his brother had chosen the wrong path?

That's much better, I hope you don't mind that I edited a little for spelling, punctuation and grammar. Sorry for the line breaks - that was perhaps taking it a little too far but I couldn't help myself

The ending is really strong now. The beginning lacks a little flesh but don't force it. Let it come naturally.  

--Last edited by Rose on 2007-07-22 20:17:27 --

Pictures Relating to the Story:





(Note: These pictures are representations of numerous sections in the story. they are to clarify the context of the story *i have done research to assure accuracy on the pics* other than those i edited  

--Last edited by Nightbringer Minion on 2008-01-17 03:09:08 --

Here's some questions for you...

does it rain in elona!?!?
why were vabbi regiments on istan,kournan as well, wouldn't it have been ideal for them to meet up with the istanis making their own way?
is the battle ground, where the goodies made camp?
there is no mention of a retreat position.
wouldn't palawa joko want to take the souls of the traitor sunspears so that they would vow an oath in which they couldn't go back?
erm that's all for semantics.. for now

it is very descrïptive which is good but the movement to one place to another is a bit quick.
8/10 WOOT

Quote :

does it rain in elona!?!? why were vabbi regiments on istan,kournan as well, wouldn't it have been ideal for them to meet up with the istanis making their own way? is the battle ground, where the goodies made camp? there is no mention of a retreat position. wouldn't palawa joko want to take the souls of the traitor sunspears so that they would vow an oath in which they couldn't go back?

Answers:

1. Yes it does rain in Elona thank the gods it does. (Why wouldn't it?)
2. Some of the leaders of the other nations brought generals and a few elite cadres of soldiers to discuss the battle plan
3. The battle-ground was indeed where the good ppls made camp. (outside GoD)
4. The retreat position will be added
5. The sunspear traitors (The Mordant Crescent as named in GW II) are valuable generals and soldiers in Palawa's armies.
Your welcome  

--Last edited by Nightbringer Minion on 2008-01-20 22:02:36 --

Very intrestin, just slightly 2 long for my eyes   u must be very gud at typing lol  

Nightbringer's Story (Pre-Nightfall)
Chapter I: The First City

It was a calm, silent moonless night. Nightbringer and Shadow were hiding behind a tree as a Shorewatcher patrol moved past through the gate from Fahrunur, this was the last chance they would get till sun-rise for the gate to open. Night and Shadow quickly darted past the four guards, easilly slipping through to the inky blackness past the gate. "Shh.... over here!" Shadow whispered. The two boys ran along the edge of a steep drop towards the gates of Fahrunur not nowing what lay ahead of them.

Chapter II: Confrontation
Fifteen minutes later, they were almost to the gates of the first city when Nightbringer stopped dead in his tracks. Standing roughly thirty feet away four Kournan soldiers stood at attention blocking the path to the gate. another could be seen standing only a few feet further in front of a greenish six eyed statue. Glowing purple and black orbs glowed with an un-holy aura. "what... why di-" he too stopped upon looking ahead. "Kournans..... five of them straight ahead fully armed..." Nightbringer whispered. Shadow met his brothers gaze and then he too saw the Kournan group, "What are Kournans doing in Istan?" he questioned Nightbringer. "I don't know.... but maybe we should go back..." Night replied twisting his apprentice's staff nervously in his hands. "We can't remember? the gate is closed.." Shadowbringer replied in an overly sarcastic voice. "I'm gonna go check it out." Shadow finally said breaking the silence. He statred walking forward as stealthely as possible. "No... STOP Shadow!" Nightbringer hissed louder than he had intended. One of the Kournans had heard him, they were dead meat now. "Whats that? WHOS THERE!" He called out in a rather familiar Ascalonian accent as he drew a customized Kournan Sword and Defender. "What is it Bayel? Who interupts the ceremony?" the unknown Kournan in back asked whoever "Bayel" was.
"Probably just some Istani kids running off where they shouldn't be Mistress Kahyet" "Bayel" replied. "We must not be discovered. Varesh has yet to recieve Abaddon's Favor. Kill them if you must... whatever the need to keep our secret safe... for the time bieng" "Kahyet ordered "Kill them"
"Yes Mistress Kahyet! You heard her fan out and em' " the guardsmen called out to his men. The Kournan soldiers began fanning out.... the search was on.

Chapter III: Shadow's Departure
"You're All Alone!" one guard hissed maliciously. Suddenly Night felt weak and crippled with fear as if he was paralyzed. "Aieee!" he squeaked "Shadow! Shadow!! Where are you??? Help me!" but no one was there.... he really was all alone.. he was going to die to the hands of Kournans. Without warning the Kournan named Bayel leaped out to grab Nightbringer "Got Him!!" he yelled. Shadow leaped out from a tree and shot out a strange bolt of purplish magic at the man. " Over here quick!" Shadow hissed. The two ran for cover as the other Kournans showed up to find Bayel on his chest.
"Nightbringer! you must see this! That statue is amazing... it practically bleeds magic LOOK!". Nightbringer cocked his head to the side to see purple and black energy pouring from the very rock of the statue. "It's..... AMAZING!" Shadow smiled with a crazed glow in his eyes. "We have to get out of here Shadow.... we should tell the shorewatchers."Nightbringer shakily replied. "No.... WE can kill them..,. but we need the magic from that statue.. Come on!" He whispered. "....No... I'm going back.. without you i suppose.... what has happened to you?" Night said, his eyes began to water. "Me? ME? I'm going to be the ruler of all ELONA! AND TYRIA!" He yelled attracting the attention of the guards. The Kournans turned to look then began to advance.

Chapter IV: RUN!!
Nightbringer turned to look in horror as the advancing Kournans drew their blades again. He saw it in his mind, visions of his brother and himself bieng cut down. "SHADOW RUN!!!!!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!!" He screamed. "NO! I HAVE SEEN MY CHANCE AT POWER AND I'M TAKING IT YOU COWARD!!!"
Nightbringer ran for his life as the Kournans ignored his stealthy brother who none had seen. "Not happening scum!" Bayel roared as he leapt onto Nightbringer's legs bringing him to the ground. "AIEEEEEE!!! GET OFF!" Night cried out. It was quick thinking that saved Nightbringer this time, he grabbed a Signet of Sorrow out of his pocket.... he had stolen it from his father's study back in Blacktide. He pressed the runes activation mechanism and it let out a screaching bolt of necrotic energy at the Bayel character. "Please Shadow!!! RUN!!" he called out to his brother who he could not find in the chaos. He ran towards the nearby gate that was oddly open. Shadow didn't make it.

Chapter V: Sunspear -12 Years Later-
Nightbringer Minion was walking on a bridge towards the Sunspear Headquarters, his eyes were focused on a Necromancer Tome he had found in an old library ruin outside Champions Dawn.
"Lifebane Strike... hmm that's interesting... could be useful some day" he thought. He was holding a Istani staff that had belonged to his father, An Ascalonian Scholar who had been at the Astralaruim helping with the ancient artifacts from Fahrunur. Both Nightbringer's Parents had been killed shortly after the events with the Kournan group and his brother. He had been nine years old at the time, His family had been with Nightbringer's father in Kryta when the Charr had commenced the Searing. He was now Nightbringer Minion, Age: 21, Sunspear Recruit He had once had a brother or at least half a brother.... Shadow had never been his real blood brother at all. They had found him laying on the road to the Temple of Tolerance and they had adopted him. His name wasn't always Nightbringer... the name comes from the fact that the night he was born all the candles had been blown out by wind right after he was born, thus the name Nightbringer, Minion was just an added touch he put in later. He walked casually as he read the tome, stopping a few times to look out at sea. Then he saw something odd. Pilliars of smoke were rising near Chahbek Village, nd the smoke was higher and darker than it should be. Thats when he saw the ship. Docked off to one side of the Village was a corsair ship and the marauders were pouring off the boat and into the village. He could see the defensive catapault crews fighting off corsairs. "I must tell the Sunspears." he thought and as he confirmed his thoughts he broke out into a run.

Chapter VI: Defend Chahbek
He reached the sunspear base to find Kormir, Spearmarshall of the Order of the Sunspears preparing young recruits. "Corsairs!! Corsairs in Chahbek Village!" He yelled. "Who are you? I don't recognize you as one of my Sunspears." Kormir replied. All the recruits turned now to face Nightbringer. "I am not a Sunspear... though i have wanted to join them.. but thats not important now.. There are corsairs in Chahbek village. Two ships." he said. " Kormir looked towards Chahbek and indeed saw the ships and pilliars of smoke. "Lead us there young Sunspear... You Shall Not Fight Alone." and with that the recruits, Koss the Warrior, and Kormir lead by Nightbringer crossed the bridge to Chahbek. When they reached the village, Corsairs had already taken a foothold by killing the catapault and shorewatcher crews. Now they preyed on innocent Istani people. "Push them back Kormir called out to the group assembled. Nightbringer broke off from the group when he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Koss. "You didn't listen very well... a Sunspear never fights alone.". Nightbringer ran up to the nearest corsair and used his father's Signet of Sorrow killing the corsair instantly. He then proceeded to use his newly learned Lifebane Strike. He cast it and watched as two corsairs fell over drained by the attack. Koss charged in to a group of five corsairs ripping into each with an Istani Machete. He hacked away till all five dropped dead. Nightbringer ran past him and shot out a Vampiric gaze at the nearest corsair, sapping the corsair of his strength. "Good Job" commented Koss.. but Nightbringer shrugged off the compliment and continued on. Casting spell after spell dropping nearby corsairs like flies. Eventually the group got the catapualts to fire using istani fire oil drums as ammo, sinking the ships to the depths. "Now that was a good days fight!" Koss remarked. Nightbringer walked away past the crowds... something had caught his eye when the second ship had sunk, something familiar... Something that reminded him back of the night at Fahrunur. He turned back to see Koss walking towards him. "You! Come here..!" he called out. "Yes? what do you need?" Night replied. "Your now a sunspear so that means you'll need to take a few training instructions ok? hows tommorrow?" Koss questioned "Fine for me" Nightbringer replied.

Nightbringer Minion had continued on to his homeland of Tyria, defeating the Titan scourge and killing the Undead Lich. He also traveled to Cantha and studied with Master Togo of Shing Jea Monastery. After a mysterious plague spread through Cantha, Nightbringer and Togo discovered that Shiro Tagatchi the betrayer had returned. Nightbringer Minion and the group of heros defeating Shiro banishing him to the realm of torment After that day.. the events leading from the strange Kournan meeting to the present spread new dangers as Varesh Ossa tried to bring about the terrors of Nightfall. Nightbringer with the help of The Order of the Sunspears and the Order of Whispers, successfully defeated the dark god of secrets and water, Abaddon.  

--Last edited by Nightbringer Minion on 2008-02-21 04:10:19 --