First of all, Happy Birthday Frizz! Okay, here is what started out to be mostly a written present but since my stories go on for a while I wasn’t able to finish...or barely even start it...but here I give to you a random piece of fiction starring a range of alliance members and hopefully with some more cameos on the way. Apologies if you’re not in this instalment, some of my most loved alliance pals have not yet graced the page. Hopefully most of you who know me or are yet to know me will find themselves in it somewhere. So, um, yes, babble...this story is dedicated to Frizz. Enjoy this very beginning to a bout of silliness and if you should like it, there will be more eventually!


The Dungeon of Insanity

It was an eternally beautiful day in Quarrel Falls, a quiet outpost in the heart of the Tyrian Maguuma jungle. After a relatively uneventful morning of travel and beast bashing, a group of adventurers were at their ease.

Frizz, a white-garbed elementalist, lazily watched two warriors sparring on the edge of a sparking pool. Beside him upon the grass crouched a dark-haired beauty of an assassin, toasting something red and presumably once delicious over a fire.

“So bored,” Frizz remarked. “Remind me why we’re in this old stretch of woods, Rose?”

The assassin shrugged and pulled down her silken mask in order to speak. “It’s been a while. Plus, it was Kit’s idea to help some of our potential newbies struggling back here. Not like there’s too much else to do.”

Frizz grunted but made a wry smile as the aforementioned ‘Kit’ was knocked off balance in her match and fell into the water with a shriek. “Meh. If people can’t make it here on their own, they’ll not last the desert.”

Rose focused on her bizarre meal. “Then we help them through there too. We all had to begin this place once.”
“There’s a difference between beginning and...Rose...why are you roasting a red bean cake?”

He got no response.

The two combatants returned to the fireside, one damper than the other. Kitiara shook her head from side to side to relieve her furry helmet of excess droplets. The fanged mouth of a feline-like beast grinned around her face.

“Ooh, cake!” she cried, beaming, and stuck a finger into the sizzling blob of red food colouring on Rose’s stick. The reaction that followed was one of happy pain.

A wall of burnished red armour shook with mirth alongside her.
“Won again, Kett?” Rose asked, trying to shield her confectionery from further attack.

The helmet nodded.

Amidst sucking a burnt finger, Kit added, “It was a stalemate until his usually quiet self suddenly shouted ‘I am the strongest!’ right in my face. Hooked my sword with his axe while I flinched and whoosh. Bye bye Kit.”

Somehow the suit of armour managed to convey a picture of innocence.

“So, anyway, where are the others?” the female warrior wondered. She was now, rather unflatteringly, bending over to dry the equally furry hindquarters of her armour against the fire.

Frizz smirked before replying, “Most have headed on home, but Ira and Little are haggling with the merchant, and Snow seems to be arguing with a Xunlai agent who’s trying to implement interest rates.”

Kit reached for the hilt of her sword. “Think I should help negotiate?”

A whumpf sound came from the direction of the Xunlai chest.

“Nah,” said Frizz. “I think he can handle it.”

The Snowkiller strode triumphantly to the gathered companions. “I think Tyrian banking is once again safe with its one-time-only opening fee,” he said proudly.

Rose raised an eyebrow. “So long as no one wants to open an account in Quarrel?”

“?”

“You don’t think the eyes of coal and corn-cob pipe might put some people off?”

“Oh he’ll be fine in a few hours,” Snow lied.

A moment of silence followed. The fire blew out.

“Hey!” Kit yelped.

“What was that?” Snow wondered.

“A gust of hot air just blew in,” answered Frizz, and pointed to three arrivals.

A narrow-eyed Elonian marched ahead of his lackeys – a Canthan ritualist and a more native-looking monk. His scythe swung over his shoulders, the Elonian bulled his way over to the merchant, shoving aside anyone in his wake. As the female ritualist waited near the town entrance, the monk darted about the clearing like a rabid squirrel.

“Oh my gods, thank you guys! You are THE best! This place is so cool!”

His voice reverberated about the town. A few flakes fell from the Xunlai agent’s head. The companions stared as the jittering man in flannel rushed up to them and continued jabbering.

“Hi! Hi! Hi!”

“Um, hi...” said Snow.

“Hey,” said Kit.

“Hola,” said Rose.

“-.- ” said Frizz.

“Whoah, you guys look cool! Not as cool as my friends but almost!” the little man squeaked. He scampered up to Kit and pointed. “What’s that on your head?”

“—”  Kit managed to say before he carried on.

“Oh I know, it’s a Charr. You skinned it, right?”

Kit turned pale.

“It’s fake fur,” Rose interjected. “Kit’s campaigning for peace with the Charr. She figured the best way to be a diplomat is to look like one.”

“Ooookay,” elongated the monk, who possibly would have said more had the Elonian dervish not appeared beside him.

“What are you noobs doing here?” he snarled beneath a dark green hood.

“Noobs?” Snow said indignantly. “At least two of us are blatantly wearing Dwarven armour from the Far Shiverpeaks!”

“Whatever, noob.”

“/sigh,” said the companions.

“He’s got a point,” the high-pitched monk burbled. “I’ve seen that Charr stuff waaay back in Ascalon. Pretty shabby.”

Kit coughed and pulled a square of cardboard out from the rim of her shoulder plate. It was attached to the material with string and read '15 plat p.p.'.

Unfortunately the monk had the attention span of a scuttlefish and was dashing off towards the shining waterfall to the west.  The leading dervish rolled his eyes to the sounds of distant ‘Wheeee’s amid splashing.

“Why are you still here?” Frizz asked him.

“Shut the *%$* up, noob.” A pause, then: “Helping our friend on the path through Tyria.”

“Ever thought that’s why we might be here?” suggested Rose.

Whether an answer was expected or not, attention turned suddenly to the usually serene waters of Quarrel Falls.

“Wtf?” said Snow.

Littlebird, a necromancer, and fellow monk, Ira, came running over to see what the fuss was about.

The over-excitable monk from the other party was floating in mid-air above what seemed to be a titanic rift that had just appeared in the centre of the pool.

“Whee-hee-hee! You should have told me about this, Nervle! What happens next?”

‘Nervle’ the dervish boggled at the sight. The whole town joined him in gawping.

“Is it the Great Birthday already?” pondered one crowd member.

“Wiki never said anything...”

“Oh, because Wiki knows everything, Wiki-freak.”

There ensued a small fight, of which none of our main characters paid any heed.

“Maybe someone should get him down from there?” Rose proffered.

Nervle took a step towards the pool. There was a great crackling sound from the rift and the hovering monk plunged, screaming, into the abyss.

“Oh crap,” said Ira. “Is there a spell for healing people who’ve fallen through rifts? I don’t think they gave me any in Elona.”

Kit shuddered. “I hate rifts. Icky things come from rifts. Things with spines, weird faces, and irritating abilities to copy themselves. Mind you, James Marsters...”

Frizz stood up and stretched. “Looks like things are starting to get more interesting.” He picked up his staff and wandered towards the gaping, swirling mass. “Time to see what’s down there.”


(Annoying website paragraphs!)  

--Last edited by Kit on 2008-04-14 23:06:35 --

Just when it was about to get interesting >:P

Aye, sadly I ran out of time on my little getaway. I'll try to do some more randomly this week sometime

Great, although why I'd use an Elonian skill other than GoL is beyond me :P

Hehe. There will be inconsistencies because unfortunately I don't stalk people enough to know many of their traits, sayings, skill usages Just pass me random tidbits of info if you want any silly things mentioning about you (yes I'm talking to the collective you - anyone reading this and wanting to be in it) or ask me to hang out with you lol. I'm not really happy with the ridiculous speed and lack of rhythm I've got in this piece so far and I'm concerned that I'll get everyone's personalities wrong but ah well...it's just a bit of fun ^.^

I dunno Kit, I think you've been scarily accurate with me... always butting in and trying to help people, answering FOR people... yeah, I do that... bad me!

Other than the absence of chocolate, it's great

I really liked that Kit!!!!  And yeah, she has got you down Rose... but not in a bad way I don't think.

You should write more!

WE WANT MORE... WE WANT MORE...

i agree with bubbles

I concur.